Blog Post

My Birth Story

  • by Joelle Moore
  • 22 Mar, 2021

I wrote this a couple of days after I gave birth, I hope you enjoy reading it!

I had a low risk pregnancy, 1 growth scan at 28w where baby measured on the 90th centile, normal GTT following this and was measuring on the 50th centile by fundal height from 30w onwards.

It all started with me cleaning the house, it took me 3+ hours to do the bathroom alone (it is a very small bathroom!) because I was getting irregular surges and kept having to stop, I got on my hands and knees and wiped the floor... twice and by the end of it I was having surges every 15-20 mins. I didn't tell my husband as we'd had so many false alarms during the previous 3 weeks that I didn't want him to get his hopes up and be disappointed if it wasn't the real deal. I'd had a clear mucousy show on Wednesday (27th) though so I thought maybe this was going to be more significant.

I started timing surges about 6pm, they were sporadic so I carried on as I was, we had dinner, I used the breast pump (I've been antenatal expressing as I have inverted nipples and wanted to make sure I had a small stash if baby struggled to latch) and the surges increased to 1 every 6-8mins over the next couple of hours, I was having to breathe through them but I still hadn't told my husband as I wasn't sure this was labour, so I was sneakily breathing them through while sat rolling my hips on my ball.

We put Rocketman on and turned the lights down, I tried to snuggle up with my husband for some oxytocin but I was too uncomfortable lying so I just sat next to him curled up. After half an hour or so I had to hold his hand for support while I breathed through the surges, about 9pm, so I finally told him I was tightening. I messaged my mum to make sure she was home and didn't have plans to go out overnight (I don't know where I imagined she'd be going tbh!) and to make sure she knew her phone needed to be on loud if I needed her. I messaged Janie around 10:30pm a picture of my surge timings to let her know we might need her overnight so she was prepared but that we were coping well at the moment.

My husband set up my birth space with fairy lights and put battery powered candles up the stairs, around the bedroom, bathroom and living room so we didn't need to turn on any bright lights. I tried to sleep but struggled to get settled, I kept opening my bowels which I knew was a good sign and wanted to make sure I got everything out before going in the pool! I put the TENS on around midnight and downloaded the Freya app which was SO lovely, the music and the counting really soothed me.

My husband really wanted to blow up the pool but I still wasn't sure this was the real thing (lol!) so I didn't want to scare off the surges by getting too excited, at half 1 I yielded and let him set it up if it would put his mind at ease. I told Janie things felt like they were ramping up but that I was coping, the pool was up with the liner in and hose ready but not filled, I really didn't want to get in too early if this wasn't the real thing (anyone seeing a pattern here 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️).

I tried to get some rest and slept between surges until about 3am, everytime I started to surge I clicked my app, clicked boost on the TENS and breeeeathed. I felt like I was coping really well but if my routine was interrupted by needing to go to the loo or my phone being locked instead of open on the app I lost it a bit and felt more uncomfortable. My husband came to tell me he had filled the pool if I wanted to get in, my surges were lasting 60s and I was having 3-4 in 10 minutes now so I thought it was a good idea. I had a bit of pinkish loss and knew that was a good sign, I kept feeling sick so I was making my husband carry around a bucket after me 🤣 and knew this was a good sign too, although I did ask him if he thought getting in the pool was a bit dramatic in case this wasn't the real thing.... I was so comfortable every time I went to the loo that I ended up staying there for a 5 mins every time I went, it felt so good to sit in that position, better than standing, squatting or all 4s.

I made my way down to the pool, taking the TENS off was a worry as I'd been relying on it so much but omggggg the pool  I felt lovely as soon as I got in at about 330am, I loved the smell of it as well, as weird as that sounds, I love swimming and have really missed not being able to go during lockdown, the smell was so nice and comforting. The first few surges in the pool were a little more difficult as my little routine had gone with my TENS, I stopped timing them but carried on listening to the app as it was so soothing. At some point my husband switched it to the music I'd used for my hypnobirthing which was even better. I got the hang of the surges in the pool and just rolled to my left for one then right for one, between them I felt so good, the relief made me feel high and I LOVED those in between moments, I felt like I was really enjoying myself.

My husband was keen to call my mum, I didn't want to wake her up too early so he called her at 4 and she got there at 420am, I told her to just have a cuppa in the living room, I didn't want to feel observed but I was so glad she was there, she had 3 homebirths and had complete faith in me which felt great! My husband never left my side and as the surges got more intense I relied on him to get me through them, he was so fab reciting my affirmations, telling me I was doing amazingly and that I could do anything for 60 seconds.

My husband had been messaging Janie and keeping her posted but at 5am I decided I was probably in labour (yes, it genuinely took me that long to believe it!) and really wanted Janie there to support me too. She arrived at 525am just as I was getting guttural and feeling that if there had been anything left in my bowels it would've come out at that point, luckily I'd cleared it all out!

I had a couple more surges while Janie set up her bits and by my own sounds I knew I was getting into the 2nd stage, I said to Janie "I sound a bit second stagey don't I?" and she agreed I definitely did. She offered a VE and palpation but I declined, did my BP and temp which were normal and listened in to baby who sounded great, he'd been moving well all through my labour so I hadn't been worried, but it was nice to have the reassurance.

At around 540am I felt his head start to descend and felt my body take over, I never actively pushed I just let my body do its thing. I asked my mum to come and hold my right hand while my husband continued to hold my left, it was amazing to have their support either side of me, I drew so much strength from them.

As his head came down I felt much better, the last few surges before my body started pushing were tough but keeping my mind focused was absolutely key. I have been fortunate enough to see many women do this, I let their power be my strength and imagined them birthing with me, Janie told me I was safe when I started to whimper and I really needed to hear that, I asked my mum and husband to keep telling me I was safe and I trusted my birth team so much I knew they were right. Between surges Janie was doing some notes and as they came I called (screamed?) her back, my eyes were tight shut but I could feel her presence when she was there and felt much better knowing she was right with me.

I felt like I was quite loud as his head came down, I felt like it was a looong way for him to come, it burnt the whole way down but not unbearable, I knew about the ring of fire but I didn't think it would burn before that as well. The pushing stage was a lot more enjoyable than the end of the first stage. I felt his head going forwards and backwards, I loved the relief between them it felt amazing when his head drew back and I got a little breather, I kept saying "ok, ok, ok, I just need a little break now" and one came when I needed it, it was great! Janie said baby was moving down really well and I should feel it, I asked "is the head was nearly out or is it just PP visible", she reminded me that "JUST" PP visible was fantastic and nearly at the end! I thought I'd want to guide his head out myself but I just needed my hands held by my mum and husband, they were fantastic anchors. I did reach down to feel him at one point which I'm glad I did, I felt his little head rolls and knew he must've looked like a walnut .

I knew the head was starting to stretch me and made a decision to stop making noise and to focus, I knew I was safe, I knew to expect the ring of fire and I've heard women say they thought they were tearing but in reality they weren't so I went over this in my head (randomly, I also thought about that bit in Twilight where Bella turns into a vampire but she knows screaming won't lessen the pain so she just deals with it in silence 🤷🏼‍♀️ don't ask me where that one came from!). I recited to myself I am safe and I am stretching, my mouth was open and relaxed, breathing deeply, and with each surge I allowed him to come further, and thanked him for going back a little to let me have a break. I couldn't believe how much I was able to stretch but I wasn't scared at all, I knew I could do it because billions of women have done it before me, I was never scared at that point, I completely trusted my body.

His head came out slowly and calmly, I felt his face wiggling as he came out lol! People say there's relief after the head but I didn't really feel that, everything continued to sting and I shushed everyone when they started to get excited about his head being out because I still needed them, I knew my job wasn't done and wanted them to wait before they got emotional. I heard my husband starting to get teary and said "don't lose it now, I still need you, hold it together." It was a minute or so before my next surge, I just breathed deeply feeling his head out and waited for another surge, as it came I felt his shoulders come, I knew I wanted to birth his body as slowly as his head so I took my time gently birthing him which took a couple of pushes, Janie told me to pick him up and I lent forward and grabbed him, the first thing I did was check if he was a boy or a girl, I felt so many emotions, my vulva was stinging, my son was born, my husband was over the moon, my mum was ecstatic, I was a mum, my baby was here, I DID IT! I. DID. IT! I couldn't stop saying "I did it!" Everything I had dreamed of had actually happened!

I wanted to feed Charlie in the pool and felt like he probably would've had a suckle but the water had been topped before he came so it was a bit too full for me to feed him. We stayed in for about 20mins, I had a couple of surges and my body had a little push for the placenta but just a couple of blood clots came so I held Charlie and we made our way to the sofa, Janie laid out puppy pads in a row and gave me one to hold between my legs, my mum wrapped a towel around my shoulders and my husband supported me to climb out of the pool, they really were the best team ever! We lay on the sofa in our towels and I tried to get him to suckle but he wasn't really having any of it. I just looked at him and felt so full of love, I felt a big surge come after about 10 mins and my body pushed out the placenta about 35mins after delivery, we had a shower curtain and a couple of big inco pads on the sofa. Janie tied the cord and my husband cut it, Janie checked my perineum and told me I hadn't torn, I was over the moon! I knew I had labial grazes because that's what stung the most as his head was crowning, they didn't need any sutures though.

I can't remember what order everything came in next, I sat up on the sofa and tried to feed, he was rooting beautifully but didn't latch, Janie weighed him and we found out he was 8lb 15oz and we were all amazed! My husband had skin to skin while I was checked and then my mum had skin to skin while my husband helped me have a wee and get some clothes on. I couldn't believe how amazingly everything had gone, I took some paracetamol and just sat and soaked up all the joy and love around me.

I couldn't have hoped, wished or prayed for a more incredible birth experience, I still feel like I'm on cloud 9! I've never been a super positive person but I feel so proud of myself that I was able to completely trust my body and my baby. My birth team were just incredible, I'm so over the moon we had Janie, we knew each other so well that there was a lot of trust between us, I know that made a big difference to my confidence.

Over the last couple of days Charlie has picked up feeding like an absolute trooper! We are just over 48h and his poos are already turning seedy yellow! I'm so proud of him, and my boobs! Hypnobirthing really helped get my head in the game in the build up for labour, I'd highly recommend it!

I can't imagine having birthed without the pool, it was so hard to move at the end of pregnancy and that weightless feeling was absolute bliss!

I still just can't believe I did it!!

39+5 (by scan)
FTM and midwife
Surprise baby boy
8lb 15oz
No examinations
Bilateral labial grazes - intact perineum
TENS, hypnobirthing and water for pain relief
12h from first tightening
Approx 5h active labour from regular, intense surges
20min second stage, no directed pushing
Physiological 3rd stage
Independent Midwife Janie Al Alawi
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